Thankful...

Little things like this make our "waiting game" a tad more bearable.

(Brookie is our five year old niece.)

Again, thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. We are forever grateful.

The Waiting Game...

First off, I want to thank each and every one of you for your kind words of encouragement and sweet, sweet prayers for our little girl. They mean the world to us. And believe you me, we have felt your love and support.

The last two days have brought with them a whirlwind of emotions. When dealing with the unknown, it is hard not to let your mind wander. We think the worst, but hope for the best. We are now praying the next 7 days go by quickly. We have at least a million questions for our new doctor and we are (im)patiently waiting to meet him.

Today we went for our amniocentesis. It was nerve-wracking to say the least. But we were able to see our sweet little baby girl again. It's funny how one glimpse of her can immediately push away our fears.

She was a little goof again today. I didn't feel her move all morning long. But as soon as our tech applied pressure for the ultrasound, she was kicking and waving her little arms around like crazy. She hates that stupid thing.

She was moving so much, I got a little worried she would move right into the needle. But, my goodness, as soon as the needle entered her little home, she went perfectly still. She didn't even move an inch. It's so fun [and therapeutic] to see her little spirit and personality already so strong.

Our doctor asked if we had any questions and I had to laugh. Nope Doc, can't think of anything! The biggest question on my mind dealt with her omphalocele. After hours and hours of research, we have found there are several levels of severity with this condition. Sometimes the little baby's entire insides can grow on the outside [like the liver, spleen, intestines, etc]. This is the one thing we were praying against. Our prayers were answered today when our doctor said he was pretty positive the only organ outside of baby girl's belly is her intestines. The recovery is still long and hard, but it requires less surgery. We were also worried about her little heart. Apparently, babies with her condition have severe heart problems. We don't know 100% on this, but her little heart seems to be healthy at this point.  This is great news and it was exactly what we needed to hear today.

After hearing this, Jake and I both felt a new level of peace in our situation. We even took a moment to sit and feel baby girl kick. She makes us laugh, which is exactly what we need.

We still don't have answers on her cleft lip, or the chromosomal issues that may be present. But we are taking one day at a time. Well, we are trying at least.

We know the calmness we have felt today is an answer to the fasting and praying you all have done for us. We greatly appreciate each and every one of you.

We are probably in for more than we know, but today we are calm. Today we are happy. And today we are finally taking a moment to enjoy the news that we have a little girl in our future.

The Unknown...

I didn't want to be a mother just yet. I thought we had years to prepare. Even with the news of our pregnancy, I was still hesitant. But do you know what can change a hesitant mind? One look at our beautiful baby. She was putting on quite a show too. Yep, you read that right. She. Her. Our little girl. She hated the pressure of the ultrasound and let us know it at once. Goodness, she was kicking her long little legs like never before. And when the tech wanted to see her spine, she twisted and curled so it was impossible. Then we moved to her tiny face. She tucked her little chin down so it was near impossible to see her profile. She was irritated at us for spying on her. She even took both her little feet and gave us a big "horse hind legs" kick, as if to say "leave me the heck alone". She made me laugh. And cry. She's stubborn, just like her Mama. She finished the ultrasound by giving us a cute five-fingered wave. Melted her Mama's heart.

Walking out of the ultrasound, I felt so excited. I wanted a little girl. I hoped for a little girl. I even secretly prayed for a little girl. So I felt so guilty when a little wave of dread came over me. Jake and I sat down and I asked if he noticed something "goofy looking" on her little tiny belly. We both brushed it off thinking it was nothing. Then we waited for our doctor for at least 45 minutes. My dread grew with every minute. And then I felt guilty. Guilty I wasn't feeling as giddy as I thought I should. Guilty that I let my mind wander to the worst case scenarios. 

So when our doctor uttered the words signifying our little girl had a few complications, I wasn't shocked. I knew it was coming. I prayed it wasn't, but prepared myself for the worst. But it still hurt. 

He explained our little girl has what is called an Omphalocele. Basically, her little tiny intestines are growing outside of her belly. This was the small "ball" I was seeing on her belly. Jake says it looks like she is holding a basketball. If only it were that simple...

The poor little thing also looks as if she will have a cleft lip. Because of her stubbornness during the ultrasound, we are not 100% sure on this. But our doctor feels pretty confident. 

And to add on to our shock, more complications are most likely to be present. Chromosomal issues are very likely [her omphalocele is a major sign of this]. Several issues could be present but our doctor mentioned specifically Spina Bifida or Down Syndrome. We just don't know. We have an amniocentesis scheduled for Friday. This will give us a clear idea of the chromosomal issues we may be dealing with.

Either way, our sweet little girl is in for a tough beginning. 

We will no longer meet with our doctor who has been so good to us. Instead, we will go to a specialist at the University of Utah who deals specifically with high risk pregnancies like ours. Our first meeting with him will be on the 31st. He will do another ultrasound to get a better look at what we are dealing with and we hope to have the results of our amniocentesis at this point to give us details on her chromosomal issues. 

She will also be delivered at the Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake so they can immediately begin the long fight to fix her omphalocele. And deal with the other issues she may have. 

We are shocked. We are hurt. And we are scared. The worst is dealing with the unknown.

Our little girl has been mobile all day long, which is unlike her. She is constantly kicking me. It's as if she is giving me a little nudge to remind us she is still there. In her own way, she is already comforting us as we deal with our shock and greif. 

At this point we are fasting and praying that her only issue will be her omphalocele. There is a small glimmer of hope that this is the case. It's small; but it's hope. 

We have asked our families to join us in a fast tomorrow. We are fasting for good news on our amniocentesis. We are fasting for our pregnancy to continue with no further complications arising. And we are fasting that Jake and I can have the strength, courage, and faith to raise our sweet special baby if it be the Lord's will.

Please join us in our fast if you are able. If not, please keep our sweet little girl in your prayers. We would greatly appreciate your love and support as we head into the unknown. 

Our New Home a.k.a The U-Haul...

Guess what we did last weekend? C'mon, just guess. Need a hint?

Notice the size of that thing? Apparently they did not have the size we ordered available so they upgraded us to ... humungo [what? that is so a word.]

Jake and I decided we would just forgo our new home and live in the U-haul instead. It was definitely big enough. 

We are now busy unpacking, redecorating, and updating. And trying our darndest to make our lovely front yard resemble grass. We have given up hope on the backyard for now. 

A special shout out goes to Spencer, Brynlee, Jace and Jake's best buddy Ben for assisting in the move. Thanks bunches!

***

In other news, Little Baby S is making its Mama sick again. Silly little thing. I can't complain too much because I have had a pretty easy pregnancy for the most part. But the timing for the sickness/exhaustion to kick back in is not the best. 

And how come no one mentioned how pregnancy really does a number on your hair? Gosh... it got pretty disgustingly dry there for a while. So...I chopped it. Really I did! I took 7 inches off today. 7 whole inches. Jake says he didn't even notice the change. We may need to look into getting his eyes checked. Did I mention 7 inches?

Baby S loves fruit -- bananas and strawberries in particular. Especially dipped in Nutella. MMM...Nutella.  And Popsicles. Oh goodness, she/he loves them some popsicles. But hamburger? Gag. Steak? Gag. Pretty much any meat in particular? Gag. 

After a lovely day of making me sick, Baby S decided to showcase its new talent of kicking two days ago; well, more like doing gymnastics. It kinda feels like the little thing is twirling and doing somersaults in my belly. I guess there really is something growing inside of me! 

We will find out if it is a Jake Jr. or a Kate Jr. [these are so the official names] in a week and a half. My mother's intuition is kicking in and I am pretty positive we have a Jake Jr. in our future. 

Our new home still does not have internet [or kitchen appliances for that matter], so I will update again when I can hijack internet from work. Shh...

Until then...