To my sweet baby Maycie:
Today Daddy and I had to say goodbye to you for the very last time. Your daddy carried your casket all by himself. You are so tiny. It was hard for me to see just how small your casket was. I just couldn't stop picturing your tiny, tiny body [3 lbs 3 oz, 16in long] resting in such a tiny, tiny casket. You wore a pretty white dress. It was the smallest one Grandma Schwartz could find for you, but it still had to be pinned back to fit. And it just happened to be the same dress most of your Branch cousins wore when they were blessed. So special.
Maycie, I miss you. I miss feeling you kick. I miss feeling you have the hiccups. I miss feeling you jab my ribs [even though I cussed you for doing this].
But even more? I miss holding you in my arms. Because your body had so many "ouchies", we only got to hold you for a short time before you passed. But those few hours meant the world to me. Your skin was so soft and the perfect shade of pink. You had the most chubby little hands. Your fingers were my favorite. Short and stubby. So, so adorable. You couldn't even wrap your fingers completely around one of mine. Your cheeks were just the right amount of chubby [you got those from me, you know. Except yours were much, much cuter]. I could kiss them forever. And your hair...where did you get that from? You had so much dark brown hair that the nurses were able to put a perfect little curl on the top of your head. They gave you a pretty white headband too. It fits on my wrist. I just can't get over how small you are.
You may be small, but you made such a huge impact on your daddy and I. I don't think either of us realized just how much love we would have for you. Not only that, but you made us realize just how much we love each other. You are so lucky to have your daddy. He is so patient. So loving. I don't think I could make it through losing you without him wiping away my tears.
I will never forget the glow you had when I first saw you. Your spirit was so strong. I can't even imagine what a strong daughter of God you must be to have chosen to come to earth for such a short amount of time, knowing you would be in terrible pain the entire time you were here. Your Heavenly Father must be so proud of you. I know your daddy and I couldn't be prouder.
Thank you for letting us be your parents. Thank you for showing us a new level of love. Thank you for making me realize just how lucky we are to have the gospel in our lives. I don't know if I could handle losing you if I didn't know I would see you again. I cannot wait for that day.
Until then, be a good girl. Give your cousin Macsen a kiss for us. Take care of your siblings. Watch over your grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins; they love you so much. Learn as much as you can so you can teach me when I finally get to hold you in my arms again.
I love you Maycie Laine. I cannot wait for the day when I can kiss your chubby cheeks and hold your tiny, tiny hand again.
Sweet dreams Maycie girl.
Love,
Momma
