The Things They Say on Sunday...

My 5-year-old Primary class is the best. The best, I tell you. They say the cutest [and strangest] things ever. And I just love it. I have three adorable little girls [S, L, and A] and one special little boy [C] in my class. Their knowledge of the gospel amazes me. The things they say on Sunday are just too "profound" to keep to myself. 

Me: We need to choose the right so we can return to Heaven and be with Heavenly Father.

S: My big brother is in heaven.

Me: Oh, I am so sorry. I have a little baby girl in heaven too.

L: [to S] Does that mean your big brother is...dead?

S: No silly...my big brother is Jesus. 

DUH. 

.....

Me: Joseph Smith had lots of brothers and sisters.

L: One time, my dad pulled down his brother's pants and kissed his butt! [cue hysterical giggling]

Thanks, little L. That really did pertain to the lesson.

.....

Me: Joseph Smith's mom and dad loved him very much so they believed Joseph when he told them he saw Heavenly Father and Jesus. 

L: Sometimes moms and dads don't love their kids and so the police have to come and take the kids away.

C: [almost in tears] I don't want the police to come to my house.

Me: It's okay, C. They won't come because I know your mom and dad love you very much.

C: But my mom broke up with my dad...

Uh. You better believe this is when I pulled out some M&M's to change the subject. 

.....

A: [In her sweet prayer] Please bless we wont die...or something. [giggles] That's a silly thing to say in a prayer. Amen.

.....

L: [to me] Teacher, could you pulease bring us a different treat besides M&M's next week? There are other candies you know.

.....

C: [shows me his Book of Mormon] Did you know this book has Jesus in it?

Me: Yes, I did know that!

C: [in the cutest whiny voice a newly 5yr old boy can muster] I miss Jesus so much. I wish I could live with him again already.  It's just taking too long!

Talk about melting my heart!

.....

Primary President: Do you know what language missionaries speak in Brazil?

Me: [to my class] Raise your hand and say Portuguese.

L: [raises hand and screams excitedly] They speak "Oh cheese"! 

Really Random List of Ramblings [Take Three]...

Today I went to the Goodwill, my self-proclaimed happy place. 

As I walked out of the dressing room, a little boy said to his mom, 

"Look at that lady. Me don't like her. Die, die, die." 

Really. I kid not. 

Thanks little man. 

I appreciate your kindness. 

//

I lost my wedding ring. 

Seriously. I about had a massive heart attack.

I looked everywhere. 

I even came home from work at lunch to search a little more. No luck. 

Until I had an epiphany to look under my bed. 

Apparently I decided to forgo being married in the middle of the night.

 I just took the ring right off my finger.

All the while being dead asleep.

What the?

//

So I keep getting a call from this insurance guy while I am at work.

I can never say "I'm not interested".

I just feel guilty. And mean.

It's a curse.

So I have dodged his calls with "I'm headed to a meeting" or "I am with a client".

Until today. I couldn't think of an excuse.

So, I told him to call Jake.

Is it totally mean that I gave him Jake's old phone number?

Ha. Tricky tricky. 

//

I apparently have become addicted to The Bachelor. 

I have never seen it nor had a desire to.

But being home alone at night caused me to tune in.

And I am addicted.

The concept is stupid. The people are stupid. 

The whole thing is just ridiculously stupid.

And yet, I can't make myself stop watching it. 

Something about the complete stupidness of it just draws me in. 

What can I say, I get bored.