Little White Man Suit...

You know what is awesome? Having a husband as cool as mine. He is a pretty great husband and an even better daddy. 

You know what else is awesome? Having a husband who takes his role as a father and priesthood holder seriously. 

Yep. It's awesome. 

On Sunday, July 6th, Tyse was blessed by his awesome daddy. Tyse had a rough morning and refused to eat so I was positive he we going to kick and scream the entire blessing. But, gosh golly, he was a good little boy! Didn't make a peep the entire Sacrament Meeting!

We are so thankful for our family who came to support little Tyson. [We missed you Kirsten and Jay, Jared and Katie, and Sam!] Stupid, stupid me didn't get any pictures with our family. What the? So if everyone doesn't mind, I would like you all to come back, in Sunday dress, and pose for the camera. Oh..and make is soon because little Tyse is getting quite the belly and his vest already doesn't fit quite right. Mmk? Thankyouverymuch! 

Excuse me while I Interrupt this Broadcast...

Let's take a break from Baby Tyse posts for just a quick minute!

While in Ohio, Jake and I took a 5 hour drive to Palmyra, NY [this was before the awful pregnancy sickness kicked in too bad, thank goodness] to visit the birthplace of our religion. It was SUCH a neat experience and I so wish I would have blogged my feelings right after our trip. My memory sucks but I do know that we had an amazing time. 

 Driving into Palmyra was an interesting experience to say the least. It was not what we expected at all! The town itself is...well...kinda redneck! There is a lot of trailer parks...and that's about it! We ate lunch at one of the very few restaurants in town and left our food on the table after about two bits. So...yep, it was interesting. But once we got to the part of town where the church owns, it was completely different and absolutely beautiful.

[Driving to the Temple]

We started the day with a visit to the beautiful Palmyra Temple. The scenery was gorgeous. It was a very rainy day, but it made the green scenery stand out even more so we really enjoyed it [keep in mind I did not edit these pictures at all...it was really that green]. The temple is built right on the acreage of the original Smith Farm. And believe me, it was sacred ground for sure. But we almost missed out on the opportunity to do a session. We are used to going to the temple in Idaho and Utah where you don't exactly need to reserve a spot in a session. Palmyra was a little different. The session we went to was completely booked. But thanks to a very nice man at the front desk, we were able to squeeze in. And I really mean squeeze. They had to bring in a ton of folding chairs to fit everyone. But I was so glad to be there, even though it was so cramped. Going to the temple is always a neat experience, but being in Palmyra made it just a little more special. 

 [Palmyra Temple - Palmyra, NY]

My favorite part of the temple was the stained glass windows. They were so beautiful. They were made to look like the Sacred Grove. And when you looked out of them from the Celestial Room, you had a perfect view of the actual Grove. It was quite breathtaking. 

 [Temple Windows]

 [Temple Grounds]

 [Smith Farm - Temple Grounds]

After our session, we went to the actual home of the Smith Family, just a few yards from the Sacred Grove. Again, a sweet sister missionary gave us our own private our - just like we got in Kirtland, OH. We were able to walk through the home and be in the same room Moroni appeared to Joseph Smith. To make this experience even better, we were there on September 21st. This is the exact date Moroni appeared in that very room, only 190 years later. Whoa. 

 [Smith Family Home]

[The room where the Angel Moroni appeared to Joseph on September 21, 1823]

After we visited a few more historical buildings belonging to the Smith Family, we were able to walk through the Sacred Grove all alone. It was just the two of us in there. It was such an amazing feeling, one I cannot even describe. 

 [The path from the Smith home leading into the Sacred Grove]

 [No caption needed. Beautiful]

After spending quite a bit of time at the Sacred Grove, we visited Hill Cumorah. I would absolutely love to visit again during the Hill Cumorah pageant. I am sure it would be so cool. Jake and I hiked up the hill and it was almost as beautiful as the Sacred Grove. We just loved it. 

As you can see, Palmyra was quite the trip! We loved it and hope to return again!

Our Visit into the Past...

The tourist girl in me finally got to stretch her legs this weekend! After a long week of twiddling my thumbs in our cute new apartment, Jake and I hit the road to Kirtland, Ohio to do a little sightseeing.

The temple was such an exciting site to bear as we drove into the beautiful historic town. Like most places in our new [temporary] home state, the tiny "corporation" [as they are called in Ohio] was so quaint. It was made even quainter when I began to recognize buildings pictured in the back of the Book of Mormon.

Our first stop was the Visitor's Center operated by the Community of Christ. Inside they have a little museum focused on information from the earliest church settlers in Kirtland. After a quick look around [really..it was quick. I wont lie, the place gave me a weird feeling] we waited for our tour of the temple to begin.

The tour starts with a video projection of information stating how Kirtland became the site of the temple. Once the video was over, the projector was lowered and curtains were opened to display the temple. It was such a breathtaking thing! Honestly, there were audible gasps from others on the tour with us [myself included]. It was so cool to see the temple up so close through the window!

We then were lead into the temple. Our tour guide was quite the guy...I don't even have words to describe him. Well, yes I do. Awkward. He was so awkward. I loved being in the temple and recalling stories I have read about that took place in the exact rooms I was standing in, but...the guy was just weird. Moving on.

We actually had a few gentleman on our tour that are something like the Apostles of the Community of Christ church. The following day was what could be considered our Priesthood session of conference in their church which was held in the temple. It was very interesting to me. I reallllly wanted to ask them a few questions on their beliefs, but I decided to just Wikipedia it when I got home instead. My shyness got the best of me. Dang.

At the time, I couldn't exactly describe to Jake the feelings I had while we were in the temple. It was so beautiful, yet something was lacking. It wasn't until we visited the LDS Visitor's Center and buildings owned by the church that I could pinpoint what was missing.

When we walked through the doors into the LDS Visitor's Center and were greeted by Sister missionaries, I immediately felt the spirit - the exact thing that was lacking in the temple. The temple is sacred ground for sure, but I think it was just being in the presence of people who know and believe the same things I do that really made the difference.

Jake and I got VIP treatment - we were given a tour by two sweet Sister missionaries from Utah all by ourselves. Just the four of us. It was so great. And they were so sweet. You could tell the tour was tailored to nonmember tourists, but I think that made it even better. They asked us a lot of questions about what each room they showed us meant to us and asked for examples of trials in our own lives. It was such a special experience to be in the exact room where the School of the Prophets met and to share with these sweet girls our story of little baby Maycie. It was a moment I don't want to forget.

We were able to see the exact Newel K. Whitney store where Joseph and Emma lived for a time. We walked on the same wood floor they did. We sat and shared in the room where the Word of Wisdom was first put into place. We even saw the exact table Joseph Smith used while writing some of the revelation in the Doctrine and Covenants. Can you say awesome?

We then toured the real Whitney home, and replicas of the Sawmill, Ashery, and Johnson Inn. We also took a stroll through the Kirtland cemetery.

Hey guys. Guess what? The Church is true. Really. And our weekend in Kirtland just boosted my confidence in saying that just a little bit more than I would have before.

Can you imagine how I will feel next weekend after we visit Palmyra, NY? Uh, can't wait!

Until then...

The Things They Say on Sunday...

My 5-year-old Primary class is the best. The best, I tell you. They say the cutest [and strangest] things ever. And I just love it. I have three adorable little girls [S, L, and A] and one special little boy [C] in my class. Their knowledge of the gospel amazes me. The things they say on Sunday are just too "profound" to keep to myself. 

Me: We need to choose the right so we can return to Heaven and be with Heavenly Father.

S: My big brother is in heaven.

Me: Oh, I am so sorry. I have a little baby girl in heaven too.

L: [to S] Does that mean your big brother is...dead?

S: No silly...my big brother is Jesus. 

DUH. 

.....

Me: Joseph Smith had lots of brothers and sisters.

L: One time, my dad pulled down his brother's pants and kissed his butt! [cue hysterical giggling]

Thanks, little L. That really did pertain to the lesson.

.....

Me: Joseph Smith's mom and dad loved him very much so they believed Joseph when he told them he saw Heavenly Father and Jesus. 

L: Sometimes moms and dads don't love their kids and so the police have to come and take the kids away.

C: [almost in tears] I don't want the police to come to my house.

Me: It's okay, C. They won't come because I know your mom and dad love you very much.

C: But my mom broke up with my dad...

Uh. You better believe this is when I pulled out some M&M's to change the subject. 

.....

A: [In her sweet prayer] Please bless we wont die...or something. [giggles] That's a silly thing to say in a prayer. Amen.

.....

L: [to me] Teacher, could you pulease bring us a different treat besides M&M's next week? There are other candies you know.

.....

C: [shows me his Book of Mormon] Did you know this book has Jesus in it?

Me: Yes, I did know that!

C: [in the cutest whiny voice a newly 5yr old boy can muster] I miss Jesus so much. I wish I could live with him again already.  It's just taking too long!

Talk about melting my heart!

.....

Primary President: Do you know what language missionaries speak in Brazil?

Me: [to my class] Raise your hand and say Portuguese.

L: [raises hand and screams excitedly] They speak "Oh cheese"! 

Our Sweet Angel Baby...

"The Lord takes many away even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again." - Prophet Joseph Smith

Today is the scheduled day Maycie was supposed to be born. 
In her memory, I decided it was time to recap her birth story.

//

On Tuesday, December 11th, I met with my doctor for my weekly appointment. I mentioned I felt decreased movement from little Maycie. I was sent over for a stress test to monitor her heart rate. The test came back "just okay". My doctor decided to see me the following day for an ultrasound and a follow-up stress test.  On Wednesday, December 12th, I had a 9:30am ultrasound [I think it was about our 20th ultrasound...we lost count]. By 9:35, my tech made the decision Maycie needed to be delivered that day. Her amniotic fluid was almost nonexistent. My doctor sent me home for one hour to pack a bag and shower and then I needed to go back to the hospital for the stress test before heading to Salt Lake.  Maycie's heart rate fluctuated way to much. At one point it went from 70 bpm all the way up to 180 bpm in a matter of seconds. But the little fighter corrected herself as much as she could.

[Last baby bump picture taken right before delivery in the UUMC bathroom]

The drive to SLC was never ending. Jake and I couldn't wait to meet our little girl but we were also very nervous to deliver at 35 weeks [especially because our doctor, Dr. Draper, was at a medical conference in South Africa]. Once we arrived, I was immediately set up on machines to monitor Maycie's heart. At one point, we had about 6 doctors rush into our room and tell us they needed to take me NOW. I had to hurry and sign some consent forms while they started to wheel my bed away. My heart dropped. This was not the way I had imagined meeting my little girl. But Maycie fought once more and was able to correct her heart rate just in time. It was a very scary 60 seconds. The doctors were able to slow down and catch their breath which made the situation a little less scary for Jake and I. We were taken into the delivery room about 20 minutes later. Maycie was born at 7:44pm. She weighted 3 lbs 3 oz and was 16 inches long.

The actual delivery went quite quick. Jake insisted on watching the whole procedure. Makes me queasy just thinking about it. I kept begging him to sit down next to me, which he did. But then I would catch him sneaking back up to watch. Silly boy. There were a few complications with the closure and I had quite the "fun" reactions to the medication [I am sure the nurses got awfully sick of me throwing up on them]. But through it all, I just wanted to meet my little girl.

In the delivery room, there is a small window straight into the NICU at University of Utah. Right when they delivered Maycie, she was transfered through the "window". I didn't get to see her at this point. One of the reasons for this was Maycie's omphalocele ruptured upon delivery. Oringinally, her "O" was surrounded by a membrane that concealed her organs. For whatever reason, the membrane broke and exposed her organs upon delivery. Her "O" became even more life threatening at this point.

Once she was taken through the window, her doctors wrapped her omphalocele the best they could so she could be safely transported to Primary Children's. PCMC actually sent a life flight team over to pick up Maycie. They even gave her a cute little t-shirt showing she had been life flighted, even though they just wheeled her down a small hallway to PCMC. On their way to Primary's, the life flight team stopped in my room so I could meet my little girl. I can't express the feelings I had at that moment. Her abnormalities were very apparent, but she was beautiful. Perfect in every way. This visit with my little girl was extremely short because Maycie needed the medical attention Primary's offered.

[Meeting Maycie during her "life flight". I couldn't move from my spinal tap so Jake had to hold me up.]

Jake followed Maycie to PCMC while I was taken to my room. The next several hours dragged on forever. I wanted to be with my sweet baby girl, but due to my spinal tap [and...you know...being sliced in half], I was told I would have to wait 12 hours before I could make the trip to Primary's.

Around midnight [about 4 hours after delivery] Jake called me and gave me devastating news. The doctors thought there was a very good chance Maycie would not make it through the night. I was heartbroken. I could not believe my little girl might pass away with me only seeing her for 5 minutes. But that night I was extremely blessed with two amazing nurses who "fibbed" on my charts stating I was in better medical condition than I actually was. Due to their kindness, I was able to make it to PCMC around 3:30am to see Maycie. I will never forget their compassion in that situation.

To see Maycie in the NICU with her daddy holding her tiny hand was heartbreaking and breathtaking at exactly the same time. Her tiny body was covered in medical equipment. But her little spirit was so apparent underneath all of the tubes and needles. All I wanted to do was reach out, hold her in my arms, and take all of her pain away.

The next day [or later that day, I guess] I was able to take my parents, my sister Kim, and my brother Alan and his wife into the NICU to meet little Maycie. I kept imagining how their meeting would have been so different if Maycie was healthy. But I will never regret the closeness I felt with my family members as we stood next to Maycie's hospital bed.

[My daddy wheeling me to see baby Maycie]

Each visit I made to the NICU that day was filled with new information from several doctors who never left Maycie's side. And each time I received even more devastating news. My little girl was sedated, but still felt pain. This fact caused me more pain and hurt than I can even describe.

By the end of that day, it was apparent our little Maycie would not survive her many complications. The several machines attached to her and the many medications given were the only things keeping our little girl here on earth. Because of this, Jake and I had to make the decision to let our little Maycie return to her Heavenly Father. As I look back, I know Jake and I were both being "comforted" at that time. It was the hardest decision we would ever have to make, but we both knew it was the right one.

Jake's parents arrived at the hospital around midnight to meet Maycie Laine before her ventilator was turned off. Once they arrived, Maycie's team of doctors moved her into a private room where we could finally hold our little girl. I cannot begin to describe the feelings I had when our sweet little girl was placed in my arms. I have never felt closer to heaven than I did at that moment.

Jake and his dad were able to give little M a blessing before she passed. It was such an amazing experience and I will forever cherish the feelings I felt as I watched Jake hold his little girl in his arms at that moment.

Being in that room with my little girl while she passed was the most painful and most comforting experience I have ever had. Time passed slowly and quickly at exactly the same time. Little Maycie Laine Schwartz returned to her heavenly home at 6am on 12.14.12 -- about 36 hours after birth.

I am so grateful for every single one of the people who were there that night helping Maycie pass with the least amount of pain possible. I am grateful for each of their sweet comments. I am grateful for the little memorabilia they gifted us with. I am grateful for the professional photographer who captured our first and last moments of holding our little girl [can't wait to see them]. I am just so grateful.

//

Maycie's tiny little body was laid to rest in Malta on 12.21.12, one week after she passed. We held a small graveside funeral surrounded by our closest family members. Maycie's Grandpa Schwartz gave an opening prayer and her Grandpa Branch gave the dedicatory prayer. Her daddy said a few words as well. It was short and perfectly sweet -- just like her life on this earth. 

[Maycie Laine's 19 inch casket. So little.]

[Some of Maycie's things the hospital gave us. Her little hand cast is my favorite. And her headband...it fits on my wrist]

//

Thank you all for the love and support you have offered us. I cannot begin to express our gratitude. The outpouring of support we have received - both emotionally and financially - has been overwhelming. Jake and I will forever be grateful for each and every one of you.  

To Maycie, Love Us...

When we got home from the hospital, we were surprised with sweet messages from our nieces and nephews to their cousin [and niece...can't forget Auntie Marie] Maycie. Each message was attached to a white balloon and each one made me cry. Kids say the most comforting things without even trying...

//

//

Me love you baby Maycie a very lot. 

- Jace [age 4]

I love you and Maycie. I think she has the cutest name. 

- Olivia [age 6]

I asked Zayne what he would tell little Maycie and he said "nuffing". But then he sparked up when I told him Maycie is with Jesus, and he said he would ask her for a toy. 

-Zayne [with help from his mommy] [age 3]

I love you! 

-Luke [age 2]

I want you to know how much I love you. I am thankful that families are forever. 

-Madelyn [age 9]

I love you! I can't wait until the three little girls [Marlee, Chloe, and Maycie] are reunited once again. 

-Chloe [age 1]

I love you, Maycie. I think you would be cute if I could see you. I wish I could see you. Do you like it up in heaven? Is it pretty there? I bet you look so pretty in Heaven. 

-Brynlee [age 6]

I love you. I wish you could be with me. You are the best Christmas present I didn't get to keep. 

-Aunt Marie [age 10]

I want to give you my crocheted hat and make you a craft. If I could talk to you I would tell you that I love you, and you are so cute. 

-Brooke [age 6]

Maycie, I can't wait to see you again. 

-Marlee [age 6 months]