ABC Dating Continued...

I, Kate Schwartz, officially give myself the honorary title of the "Worst Blogger in the World" 2013 edition. I would like to thank my lack of motivation and complete abundance of writer's block for granting me such an award. Here's to slapping my un-blogger self in the face and giving me the well deserved kick in the pants to start anew in the last quarter of the year. Thank you. And goodnight.     

____________________

Monday, July 22nd, 2013

C is for...Chili's and Camping 

C was the easy date for me. I knew from the very beginning it would be a chance for us to finally take our big camping trip we had been talking about all summer. Except, let's be real, we forgot to take into account our crazy, incompatible work schedules. Silly us. So instead, we took the long trip straight into our backyard [I mean c'mon, it is pretty much a wilderness back there]. We started the evening with a quick dinner trip to Chili's [fitting, I know] and then we set up our cute tent. And when I say we, I most definitely mean Jake. Do you what to know the best part about camping in your backyard? Easy access to power [and plumbing]. We took our cute pink extension cord, my laptop, and a bag of popcorn and watched ourselves a movie. In our tent. Perfect. We made it the entire night until around 6am when a sweet [stupid] adorable [ugly] crow decided to give us a morning caw - about a million times. You can see the crow in question at the tippy top of the tree in the last picture. The little guy made it all the more exciting to crawl into our bed and shut out the awful noise. 

Monday, July 29th, 2013

D is for...Donuts, Driving Range, Drive-thru, and Deleta

 

Yep, this is the only picture I got of us. Great. 

We started the evening off by hitting up the new Donut Shop in Pocatello. My review? So/so. But the nice man did give us a free donut, so I can't complain too much. We then went to the driving range to hit a BUCKET of balls. I rolled my eyes at Jake when he first got the bucket, secretly thinking "My gosh, we are going to be here all night." But guess what? A bucket of balls does not last that long! Why? The driving range is fun guys! Especially when you can spy on the teenyboppers on a date next to you. Teenage boys showing teenage girls how to hit a golf ball? Hilarious. We then went to Deleta - Pocatello's premier Skateland. Too bad they decided to not be open to the public on Monday nights. Stupid Deleta. We ended the night with a quick drive-thru stop at Sonic for our favorite drinks. [We can't go to Sonic without thinking of Sweet Baby M]. My husband, he plans awesome date nights. 

Monday, August 1st, 2013

E is for...El Herradero and Eight Ball

And so we begin with the hard letters. E? E took some planning. And Googling. To be honest, I was worried about this letter. I thought the date would be dull. I mean, how many games of pool can you play? But you know what? This was one of my favorite dates we have done so far. We laughed. We sang to the jukebox. We teased. And it was fun. So fun. Even dinner was fun. I usually hate Mexican food, but this restaurant happened to be so yummy. That is what I love about our ABC dating...it is making us try so many different things we normally wouldn't do.

____________________

ABC Dating...

Hi. My name is Kate and I like to date. My husband, that is. I like to date my husband. So, in honor of liking to date my husband, I decided to play a dating game.  And said husband agreed to play with me. Because we are nerds like that. Or something.

Years and years ago I read a book. Shocker, I know. And this book was a cheesy love story I picked up at the LaGuardia Airport in NYC on my flight back home. It went as most cheesy love stories go, but the premise of it stuck with me. The cheesy love story protagonist went on dates with the other cheesy love story protagonist according the the ABC's. Cheesy.

So, I knocked off the cheesy love story ABC dating game. Because I do weird things like that.

I will explain to you how the game goes, because I am sure you cannot figure it out by yourselves. I started the game with an A date last week. Then Jake had to come up with a B date this week. And C will be mine next week. And then D will be Jake's. Got it? I think you get it.

Each week has to be a surprise. The other "datee" doesn't know what we are doing until Monday arrives. Why Monday? Because Monday is date night. [Wait, what? Monday is date night? What a random day for a date night!] It's true. I agree. Monday is a stupid date night. But Monday happens to be the only night Jake and I have off of work together. So...Monday is date night.

And so, on Monday's, we date. Each other. According to the ABC's. Cheesy.

____________________________________________

Monday, July 1st, 2013.

A is for...Arcade.

Yes, A is for Arcade. It's fine, we are little kids at heart. And c'mon, the place is cool enough to have its own "Out of my way, I'm going to Outer Limits Fun Zone" bumper sticker. That alone makes it date night worthy. We played two rounds of Mini Glow in the Dark Golf and then spent the rest of the night blowing through mounds and mounds of tokens. I pretty much dominated in Mini Bowling while Jake kicked my trash in Air Hockey. And get this - Jake KILLED me in Dance Dance Revolution. My husband, he's got mad dance skills. Who knew. We finished the night with pockets full of tickets to spend on our prizes. Instead of splurging our winnings on the big stuffed snake with the creepy eyes, we saved our tickets for the niece and the nephew. I know, we are too kind. You're welcome, B and J. 

Monday, July 8th, 2013

B is for...BBQ and Baseball

For Jake's B night, he invited a bunch of his high school buddies and their wives/girlfriends/fiances over for a good old fashioned backyard BBQ. Except, let's be real, we have yet to get a backyard worth BBQ'ing in. So we improvised with a good old fashioned living room BBQ. It works. It was a fun night of boys reminiscing about the good ol' days and the girls rolling their eyes about the good ol' days. Fun for all. I felt extremely awkward asking everyone to pose for a picture I could post on the blog about our ABC date night. So instead, I creeped around our kitchen wall and snapped a cell phone pic without anyone noticing. Thus the blurriness.  We finished the night with gossip time for the wives/girlfriends/fiances while the boys threw around the baseball in our less than perfect backyard. Quadruple date night success. 

[And just because I know my phone will ring any minute - Mom, they are drinking Apple Beer. Purely non-alcoholic. Promise.] 

The End.

731 Days Ago...

2 years

731 days

104 weeks

17,544 hours

1,052,640 minutes 

63,158,400 seconds

...and counting. 

Jacob Eugene, I love you. Happy 63,158,400 seconds. Here's to a million trillion more!

[two years ago today]

[today]

//

To celebrate we:
Slept in. Glorious.
Ate lunch at Costco. You know, sample style. [Don't worry...we bought groceries too.]
Had $1 churros for dessert. Big spenders!
Paid some of our never-ending hospital bills. Quite exciting if you ask me!
Lounged around on our comfy couch.
Ate dinner at Chili's. We have a love/hate relationship. We always crave it. It always makes us sick. You'd think we would learn.

And now we are about to snuggle up with our cups of sparkling cider and watch a movie.

Yep. We are that crazy. Be jealous.

Our Mini-Vacay in a Series of Insta-Pix...

Miss Garmin helped us make it just in time / Jake and I patiently awaiting the big appearance / Mr. Scotty McCreery in the flesh [followed by The Band Perry and Brad Paisley] So fun!

Mr. Scotty / The Band Perry / Brad Paisley 

Our home each time we grace Boise with our presence / Jake and I did a little music reminiscing until 2am / Quiznos...a "must eat" every time we leave Pocatello 

Who can't past up an 80% off rack? This girl! [even if the only things we bought were for Jacob] / Lost Jake for a bit in the mall. Good thing I knew his favorite hiding spot / Cheesecake Factory, a perfect "end of shopping day" treat. 

Our final cheesecake selections. White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle for me, and The Ultimate Red Velvet Cake Cheesecake for him / Johnny Carinos. This reminded me of the dreaded surgery / Our Italian Sodas. So yum! 

it's {just me} and the vegans...

Hi guys. It’s {just me} again. So my break from school was great, right? I think it was so great so I could be prepared for the AWFULNESS that followed it. Ugh, I don’t know if I can make it through the next three weeks of the semester. Really. It’s that bad.

…

Yesterday in my Gender in Lit class we discussed animals. Oh, excuse me, I mean “non-humans”. Apparently I am way beyond being politically correct when I call a dog an “animal”. So wrong, in fact, that my professor will correct me. Right in the middle of her lecture. My bad.

So we are reading J.M. Coetzee’s The Lives of Animals right now {do not even ask me why we are reading this in a gender class}.

Anyways, Professor Narcissism began the lecture with a very touching story on how she believes animals “non-humans” are on the same consciousness as humans are; meaning she believes a fly has as much cognitive development as the human species.  And if she was faced with a decision of swerving her vehicle to avoid hitting a deer or a human, she would have a tough decision to make. {Please remind me to stay very clear of her while she is driving.}

This was followed by several of my classmates agreeing with her. One student enlightened us with her current choices to make herself more spiritually "in tune" with nature. This involves humanely catching spiders or flies that enter into her home and releasing them back into nature.

Really, I am not trying to make light of their beliefs. Promise. {Okay, it is a little hysterical. But that’s not my point.}  And I thought some of their claims were actually quite reasonable. But I am just trying to give you a little background information for the following situation. {wait for it…}

So these types of discussions go on for quite some time. And after a really thrilling conversation on my Professor’s choice to become a strict Vegan, she turned to me and said, “Katie, you have been awfully quiet today. What is your take on the spiritual relationship between humans and non-humans?”

Doh. Talk about a deer stuck in the headlights of her oncoming vehicle.

I answered, “Uh, I really don’t want to offend anyone. So I have been keeping my mouth shut.”

She looked at me quizzically so I continued.

“I grew up on a dairy farm,” I said. “So basically, I have a great relationship with animals “non-humans”. You know, a relationship made through our dinner every night.”

Ha. Wrong move.

She should just be thankful I didn’t tell her about the turkey we had for Thanksgiving last year. 32 pounds of homegrown goodness from the in-laws, lovingly butchered for our own taste buds. Or about all the pigs my daddy would buy at the auction every year for bacon. Or the chickens my mother-in-law raises for their eggs, the venison my best friend’s husband collects every year, the cows we would show at the fair and then sell for our profit, and the list goes on and on.

…

Later, after regaining her composure following the shock of my blatant disregard for the “non-human” race, she informed me I should really consider becoming a Vegan. She says {and I don’t know why} that it is a great way to get over a coffee addiction. So yep, I am becoming a Vegan. Just so I can kick my dang coffee habit. Never mind the fact that I will have to give up meat. It doesn’t even begin to matter because, c’mon, I will be able to give up coffee!

I hope I haven’t offended anyone {besides my professor, that is}. Because really, if you have chosen a life of "veganism" I will stand and applaud you. I think it is great that you have such self control. But, I love me some chicken. So, get over it.

{Jake and I at Date Night tonight. Eating some chicken. My bad. Btw, completely off topic, you can see Jake's broken nose quite distinctively in this picture. Hopefully it will be fixed soon! ☺}

♥kate

The one where we make faces...

So I love a good date night as much as the next person. I especially love a date night that involves Cafe Rio and snuggling in the back of a dark movie theater with my honey. Don't worry...we kept it "G" rated. Unlike the movie. It was about as far from "G" rated as it was from being a quality film.

Guys, have you seen the new Twilight? Goodness me, it's a little risque. And when I say a little, I really mean a lot. Half of the movie is spent watching Eddy and Bell play tonsil hockey. {Tonsil hockey? That is just about the weirdest phrase to describe kissing I have ever heard. I am a little ashamed that I just used it. Don't judge.} The other half is spent watching bad acting, bad effects, and bad blood. I had to throw in the blood. My gosh, I about threw up all over the giggling "oh my gosh, Jacob {the werewolf, not my husband ... just to clarify} just took off his shirt" girls behind us.

We really enjoyed the movie. Obviously.

And in honor of my new blog, I asked Jake to give me the best "I can't believe I just spent $19.00 for 2 hours of this crap" face for a little Instagram.

We obviously need to work on it.

Then I decided I just had to have a normal, smiling, "we are a happy family" picture of us for once. The following is our attempt at such.

Fail. Big, fat fail. Just be grateful I only shared the first six with you.

I made Jake promise we will try again tomorrow.

Moral of the story? Don't watch Twilight. And don't try to get my husband to smile like a normal person. Both are epic failures.

♥kate