The One Where We Graduate...

You know, since I have started college I have had my fair share of majors. Freshman year, I walked on campus as a Social Work major. Ha, that lasted about a year. I didn't even take any classes related to the field. Not one. But hey, I did get a great scholarship for it.  I then treaded the water of a General Education major. You know, the "cop-out" choice for those people who have no interests whatsoever. Then I got the bright idea that I was destined to be a teacher. And I stuck with it. For three long years. I stuck with my passion of English and focused on Heath Ed as my minor. [Sometimes I wonder...Health Ed? I have absolutely no interest in it. Silly past me.]

Then one day after teaching a short English lesson to a bunch of high school kids who really cared less about what I had to say, I had an epiphany. An epiphany that started with "What the heck" and ended with "am I doing?" I realized I had no interest in spending the rest of my life in school. So, I quit. Six credits to go and I gave up on Education. Phew. Dodged a bullet with that one.

But then I realized I had been in school for four and a half years and didn't have a major. Yikes. So, I counted up the credits I had acquired while in school and decided Literary English was the way to go. 

And now I am done. 

What to know what my favorite part of being done is? When people ask what I graduated with. Oh man, talk about a crack up.  "So Kate, what did you spend the last five years in school getting a degree in?" My answer, "I now have a bachelors degree of Literary English in my back pocket!" Them, "Literary English? What the heck are you going to do with that?" My answer, "Who the heck cares! I am a college graduate!"

Truth is guys, I can't do a whole lot with my silly degree. But hey, it's a degree. That is a whole lot more than a lot of people these days can say. So yah, I am proud of my Literary English degree. I am even prouder to shout from the rooftops: 

I AM A COLLEGE GRAD!

To make the day even better, my big brother Alan and I graduated on the same day.

it's [just me] playing catch up...

You know when you have so much to say that you just don't have a place to start? Yah, me too. So instead of taking the extra time searching my mind to come up with some cleverly witty introduction to the madness, I am just going to jump right in. Prepare yourselves for quite a few RANDOM blog posts.

The One with the Spanish Gift Giver..

Remember my creepy Spanish friend Ben and Jerry? Oh goodness, I could have a whole blog [not just a post, mind you. A. Whole. Blog.] dedicated to him. You know those people who just love to hear themselves talk? Ben and Jerry. You know those people who make themselves feel more intelligent by using big words even when they make absolutely no sense? Ben and Jerry. Every time he opened his mouth, I mentally pictured a Friends episode I have seen a million times. I even caught myself giggling right out loud a few times at the image. Don't know what I am talking about? Not to worry, I have linked a lovely clip for your viewing pleasure.

Ah, "Baby Kangaroo Tribbiani". Gets me every time. Anyways, throughout the semester Ben and Jerry became one of those students where every time he raised his hand, the whole class groaned. I groaned. The boy sitting next to me groaned. Gosh, even the professor groaned. Needless to say, I tried to keep my distance. His mohawk [dyed yellow, but still showcasing his grey hair], his cut-off shirt that no longer attached at the bottom so it was worn like an awkward bib, his chewing tobacco noticeably placed in his bottom lip DURING class, and his extremely creepy winks helped in my "keeping of distance" solution.

So I missed a few classes in a row once. Like two weeks. No big deal. Anyways, the day I came back, Ben and Jerry moved from his normal desk and sat right behind me. I tried to ignore the move like any good "gosh, this guy creeps me out" girl would do but, alas, he tapped me on the shoulder. I very hesitantly turned around. Mind you, I don't remember the exact words he used, but believe me, it made absolutely no sense. Sorta like this, "Katie, your absenteeism in Spanish tutorial has not gone undetected. I solitarily have missed your facade within the architectural confines of this here learning facility. As a perfunctory symbol of my feelings regarding your nonappearance, please consent to the reception of this efflorescence."[Ha, you better believe I used a "Thee-saurus" for that bad boy]. And then he pulled a little flower out of his backpack.

At this point, I am sure I was about as red as the flower. It didn't help that Mr. Ben and Jerry was talking so loud that the WHOLE class had turned to watch the conversation. Even the professor. I almost died. I almost died again when one of the guys sitting next to me leaned to Ben and Jerry and said, "Dude, how can you not notice the big ring on her finger?"

Needless to say, the entire Spanish class had a good laugh at my expense. 

16 days, 11 hours, 58 minutes, & 11 seconds. 

10 seconds, 9 seconds, 8 seconds... 

The Countdown...

Oh hi guys. Remember me? Yep, it's been a while. Turns out blogging isn't so fun when you have nothing worth mentioning going on in your life. Sure, it's Spring Break and all. And I really wish I could tell you all about the crazy adventures the Break has brought. But they don't exist. Instead, my break has consisted work. Work and sleep. Sleep and work. Sure, the sleep has been pretty nice. Well, it would be if we actually went to bed at a decent hour. What is it about not having class in the morning that makes you stay up until 4am? Who knows. 

But goodness, thoughts of Monday make me want to throw up. My break wasn't long enough. Not long enough at all. 

The only thing keeping me sane is 5512. Yep, 05052012. 05-05-2012. May 5, 2012. 36 days. 35 days, 8 hours, 50 minutes, and 5 seconds. You know, the countdown to Graduation. I can barely hold my excitement in at the thought. But it really seems like the day is just never going to come. The countdown is never ending. 

But I will take it one day at a time. Only because I have to. 

So in honor of one day at a time, tomorrow I am devoting my day to Conference. The next day with be devoted to family. And then it's Monday. And I will continue to take it one day at a time until 050512. Let's hope I can make it...

35 days, 8 hours, 47 minutes, 45 seconds. 

And counting...

it's {just me} ranting about what stinks...

Want to know what stinks? 

The fact that professors think "Midterms Week" can be changed into "Two Weeks of Midterms". 

That's what stinks!

Being yelled at by your professor. 

That's what stinks!

Staying up way too late studying only to wake up way too early to study more. 

That's what stinks!

Situations that lead to an employee quitting on you 3 hours before their 10p-6a shift. 

That's what stinks!

Re-doing an entire work schedule for the week when you should be writing your paper due in the morning. 

That's what stinks!

Writing a 10-page research paper on a topic that has no information available to research. 

That's what stinks!

Missing a visit from an old friend because of schedule conflicts. 

That's what stinks!

Having a tire that insists on continually being flat. 

That's what stinks!

Realizing you forgot to hand in an assignment a week after it was due. 

That's what stinks!

Eating at a restaurant and remembering after you finished your meal that it ALWAYS makes you sick. 

That's what stinks!

Drawing a blank when your Spanish professor asks you a question on the oral portion of your midterm. 

That's what stinks!

Clearing out your bank account to pay for campus parking tickets.

That's what stinks!

Being the only LDS member in a class discussing [more like bashing] the supposed "Mormon Slang" 

That's what stinks!

Having your future financial situation hang in the balance on the results of one test.

That's what stinks!

THIS WEEK? 

THAT IS WHAT STINKS!!!!!

Checkin' In & Checkin' Out!

Hi guys. Seems like my life is moving in slow motion and fast forward... at exactly the same time. Basically, I only have a minute to check in. But I just had to stop by and gloat. Lookie what I just finished filling out. 

The last five years of my life finally feel like they might be worth something. I am almost done, guys. Almost done. Phew. A few more months and I will officially be checked out of school! Uh, yay me!

it's {just me} and my first impressions...

First impressions always get the best of me. I have tried to train myself against this instinct, but I fail miserably. Instead, I judge. I know, I know. It’s not very kind of me. But at least I admit it happens. First step is admitting you have a problem, right?

My first impressions of today, you ask?

Oh, crap!

---

I can always tell a lot about a new semester by the first day of classes.

For my first class of the day {Varieties of the English Language, just in case you were wondering}, I arrived 10 minutes early. You know, just in case. After 30 minutes of waiting, my professor finally arrived. She then spent the next 20 minutes trying to pull up her dang PowerPoint. {During this time, we did have a special bonding experience over the pros of having a Macbook versus a PC...what a fun moment}

All the while, I had to hold back my shout of "Hey lady, I came prepared to your class. How come you didn't?"

Oh, and the stench. It is so mean of me to judge, I know. But this woman brought with her, albeit 20 minutes late, a strong scent of cat urine into the classroom. At first I doubted my nose. That is, until introduction time {and the excessive amount of feline hair adorning her clothes}. Then she not only introduced herself, but also her four cats by proxy. Guys, I can't make this stuff up! Seriously.

First impression? Oh, crap!

After two long hours with the Cat Lady and her Mac, I headed over to Spanish.

Along the way, I met a jolly ol' fellow who flaunted his cut-off tee and carried a pint of Ben and Jerry Ice Cream {seriously}. And when I say cut-off tee, I really mean cut-off. It even included a very hairy plunging neckline.

He stared at me for quite some time while I eyed his Mint Chocolate Chip. He then said to me, "Dang, you look good in purple." I sort of let out one of those nervous please-don't-creep-me laughs and replied a quick "Thanks". He then held the building door open for me {what a gentleman} and proceeded to look me up and down with one of those "Mmm yah" escaping his lips.

I ran as fast as my purple heels would let me.

So back to Spanish. I sit down, make myself comfortable, and guess who walks in? Ben and Jerry. 

Oh, crap!

So I try to hide my face. And my purple.

But then, in the middle of her lecture, my professor stops talking, looks in my direction and says "Do I know you?"

I did one of those over the shoulder side glaces to see who she was talking to. So, she repeats herself. "Do I know you?"

After the third time she asked this, I finally realized she was taking to me. I let out a nervous, and super awkward giggle {I mean, c'mon, it was weird} and said "No".

She answered with "Oh, well you were smiling at me like I should know who you are".

Gosh, so rude of me to smile at my new professor. But that is besides the point.

Now that my professor drew the entire classes attention directly towards me, I could no longer hide. Ben and Jerry spotted me. And gave me a "full face involved" {super creepy} wink. 

Oh, crap!

---

Guys, it's only the first day of classes. I can't {and don't want to} even imagine the fun first impressions that are in store for me tomorrow.

Uh, wish me luck.
♥Kate

The Night Before...

Backpack is stocked with an overflow of pencils.

Laptop is set to charge. 

Schedule is written down.

Textbooks ordered.

And the nausea refuses to subside. 

----

Oh School, how I loathe thee.

Wordless Wednesday {On a Thursday}: Clearing out the bookshelf for a new semester...

{Makes me sick to think of how much money is sitting on our office floor right now}

it's {just me} being free...

Hi guys. I have to gloat.
I just turned in my last final.
So, as of 9:54pm, I can officially say...

I'M FREE!

No more papers.
No more tests.
No more awkward {vegan} professors.
No more annoying classmates.
No more late night panic attacks.
No more cramming.
No more pretending I did my homework.
No more anxiety caused by professors asking me questions when I pretended to do my homework.

Instead, I will be free to enjoy:

More sleeping.
More playing.
More procrastinating. {ha, I think I already do enough of this}
More napping.
More family time.
More husband time.
MORE TIME!

I'M FREE!

Well, at least for the next 3 weeks.
Ah, if only I could say I'M FREE forever.
Bummer.

***

I don't know about you, but I just did a little dance to celebrate my freedom.
Be glad you weren't around to see it.
♥kate

Dear Blog...

Dear Blog:

I am sorry you have been abandoned lately. It's not you, it's me. No hard feelings?

Only one more final and then you will be the first check on my To-Do list.

Well, right after "Get rid of cold sore caused by the enormous build-up of stress relating to the awful week that comes twice a year."

I hate you Finals Week. I hate you bad.

Please forgive me little blog,

♥Kate

it's {just me} and the vegans...

Hi guys. It’s {just me} again. So my break from school was great, right? I think it was so great so I could be prepared for the AWFULNESS that followed it. Ugh, I don’t know if I can make it through the next three weeks of the semester. Really. It’s that bad.

…

Yesterday in my Gender in Lit class we discussed animals. Oh, excuse me, I mean “non-humans”. Apparently I am way beyond being politically correct when I call a dog an “animal”. So wrong, in fact, that my professor will correct me. Right in the middle of her lecture. My bad.

So we are reading J.M. Coetzee’s The Lives of Animals right now {do not even ask me why we are reading this in a gender class}.

Anyways, Professor Narcissism began the lecture with a very touching story on how she believes animals “non-humans” are on the same consciousness as humans are; meaning she believes a fly has as much cognitive development as the human species.  And if she was faced with a decision of swerving her vehicle to avoid hitting a deer or a human, she would have a tough decision to make. {Please remind me to stay very clear of her while she is driving.}

This was followed by several of my classmates agreeing with her. One student enlightened us with her current choices to make herself more spiritually "in tune" with nature. This involves humanely catching spiders or flies that enter into her home and releasing them back into nature.

Really, I am not trying to make light of their beliefs. Promise. {Okay, it is a little hysterical. But that’s not my point.}  And I thought some of their claims were actually quite reasonable. But I am just trying to give you a little background information for the following situation. {wait for it…}

So these types of discussions go on for quite some time. And after a really thrilling conversation on my Professor’s choice to become a strict Vegan, she turned to me and said, “Katie, you have been awfully quiet today. What is your take on the spiritual relationship between humans and non-humans?”

Doh. Talk about a deer stuck in the headlights of her oncoming vehicle.

I answered, “Uh, I really don’t want to offend anyone. So I have been keeping my mouth shut.”

She looked at me quizzically so I continued.

“I grew up on a dairy farm,” I said. “So basically, I have a great relationship with animals “non-humans”. You know, a relationship made through our dinner every night.”

Ha. Wrong move.

She should just be thankful I didn’t tell her about the turkey we had for Thanksgiving last year. 32 pounds of homegrown goodness from the in-laws, lovingly butchered for our own taste buds. Or about all the pigs my daddy would buy at the auction every year for bacon. Or the chickens my mother-in-law raises for their eggs, the venison my best friend’s husband collects every year, the cows we would show at the fair and then sell for our profit, and the list goes on and on.

…

Later, after regaining her composure following the shock of my blatant disregard for the “non-human” race, she informed me I should really consider becoming a Vegan. She says {and I don’t know why} that it is a great way to get over a coffee addiction. So yep, I am becoming a Vegan. Just so I can kick my dang coffee habit. Never mind the fact that I will have to give up meat. It doesn’t even begin to matter because, c’mon, I will be able to give up coffee!

I hope I haven’t offended anyone {besides my professor, that is}. Because really, if you have chosen a life of "veganism" I will stand and applaud you. I think it is great that you have such self control. But, I love me some chicken. So, get over it.

{Jake and I at Date Night tonight. Eating some chicken. My bad. Btw, completely off topic, you can see Jake's broken nose quite distinctively in this picture. Hopefully it will be fixed soon! ☺}

♥kate

it's {just me} and my foot meeting my mouth...

Oh hi. It’s {just me} again. Ever had one of those “oh my gahhh” moments when you just want to reach into the air,  grab handfuls of words you just let escape from your mouth, and shove them back where they belong? When you wish you had a delete button available to meet your every need? When you want to put your foot right in your mouth {metaphorically speaking, of course}? Today I had one of those moments. Well, sort of.

Remember this post? The one about my professor? Miss Professor Narcissism? Two weeks ago she gave us a midterm. I came home to Jake on the verge of rambling tears because I was sure she created the test just to fail me. Good crap, it was hard!  “I’m doomed” I said. Over and over again. “I’m doomed, I’m doomed, I AM DOOMED!”

Today she gave us back our midterm. Good news = I wasn’t doomed. Bad news = foot, meet mouth.

Attached to my midterm was quite a significant paragraph discussing my test.

Here’s what the lovely little paragraph said. {Prepare yourselves}

Katie,

You lost a point here and there for vague, imprecise, or “note quite correct” answers, in addition to one question on psychic colonization that you didn’t answer {Can you blame me? Psychic colonization. What the?}.  However, I would like to say that, overall, I’m quite impressed with your performance on this exam. I reread your exam several times because the quality of most of your answers was very high. I want you to do better on the final, so please reflect on your answers and review the material for those questions you did not answer precisely.

{Get ready for the kicker}

It’s great having you in my class. I look forward to seeing you every week. Your contributions to the success of this course through your participation in class discussion are noted and appreciated.

Regards,

LW

She looks forward to seeing me every week??? Are. You. KIDDING. This coming from the woman I asked the blogging world {or the five of you who actually read my ramblings} for advice on how to deal with. The woman I said I could hardly stand spending 2.5 hours with. She looks forward to seeing me? Once again… apologetic foot, say hello to guilty mouth. 


Do you think she knows I have a hard time making myself go to her class every week? Do you think she knows what I secretly think about her? Do you think she reads my blog? My mom would say yes. Mother called me the day after I posted and told me I needed to delete what I said about my professor because, you know, it was not nice. 


If, in fact, she somehow magically knows I became a blogger and curiously started reading my posts, then maybe I should respond to her note. Just to ease my mother's conscious of raising a "not nice" daughter. 

LW,

Sorry I said you make me want to pull my hair out.

Apologies,

Katie

***

On a completely different note, tonight I made dinner for my hubby! Yup, equipped with dessert {rolo cookies} and all! I think I am growing up. You see, I have become addicted to this little thing called Pinterest. Ever heard of it? Well I tried two recipes and I must say, we had a complete Pinterest success!

P.S Don't let the ugly she-man picture of me bother you. I just chopped onions for our Pinterest dinner which wiped my once make-up'ed face clean. And no, I did not chop all of my hair off. It is held tight in a "keep hair out of Pinterest dinner" bun. Admit it, I'm adorable {really, this is dripping with sarcasm}.

P.S.S Isn't my husband adorable? {No sarcasm intended.}

♥kate

it's {just me} and my big dilemma...

Today was the day. The first day of the rest of my life...er, something like that. Today I registered for my last semester at Idaho State University {woot, woot}.

Or, so I thought. Let me explain. I am majoring in Literary English. Basically, there are eight categories of credits I have to complete plus a handful of useless other credits to graduate. I have one category left plus ten of the above stated “useless credits”.  13 credits left! That’s it! But guess what? My ONE CATEGORY isn’t being offered next semester! What the?! I know it doesn’t sound that bad so let me give a few more details. This certain category has six {yes, six} classes I can choose from.

Choose one of the following language studies:

ENGL 4481   Studies in Grammar                   3cr
ENGL 4484   Special Topics in Linguistics        3cr
ENGL 4485   Linguistic Analysis                  3cr
ENGL 4486   Old English                          3cr
ENGL 4487   History of the English Language      3cr
ENGL 4488   Introduction to Sociolinguistics     3cr

NOT ONE is being offered! Now do you understand my frustration? Six stinkin’ classes. Six. And not one is available next semester. Thank you, Idaho State University. Thank you very much!

To make matters worse, I have this deep suspicion that I am being punished for bad decisions. See that class ENGL 4485 Linguistic Analysis? I took it last semester. I did awesome in it too {Seriously, like A+ material}. Well, awesome until finals week. Then Jake and I got slightly addicted to the TV show Lost. And when I say slightly addicted, I mean we stayed up every night until 7am watching just. one. more. episode! Why, oh why, did we start watching the most addictive show ever right before finals week?  I just don’t know. But, in between episodes 23 and 57 I weighed the options. I could either stop watching to write my 20 page research paper {of which I had yet to do one ounce of research on} which was due at 9am the next day. OR I could find out why exactly Kate was in Australia and what the heck 4 8 15 16 23 42 meant! Obviously, I chose Kate. Whoops.

So now I am stuck. Stuck with 3 credits to graduate and no class to fill them. And a major decision to make. Care to help?

Option 1: Put off school until Fall 2012 and take all 13 credits together. {We will call this the LESS $$$ option}

Option 2: Take 10 credits (not full time) next semester and wait until Fall 2012 to take three more stinkin’ credits {again, not full time}. {This we will call the MOST $$$ option}

Option 3: Give up the last 5 years of my life and QUIT now. {This one is the BEST $$$ option}

Okay. Your turn. You make the decision for me. Go. Now.

Your help is greatly appreciated {and much needed},

♥kate

it's {just me} ranting about school...

Hi guys. It’s {just me} again. You know what I hate? Hate as in grind my teeth, clench my fists, and want to scream hate? School. Can you believe that less than a year ago I was planning on becoming a teacher? Really. Six more credits and I am a certified, fully fledged educator. What the heck was I thinking? Can you imagine? Waking up every day and going to school for the rest of my life? Yuck. I think I dodged a bullet on that one, am I right? Anyways. Back to my serious hate. I am in my fifth year of college and just want to be done already! Not because I hate learning. It’s quite the opposite actually. I love learning - certain things, that is. Math and science can be crossed off of my “I love to learn” list. That’s {his} expertise. But give me a good Marie de France lais and I am easily in education heaven. But lately I have been experiencing the above stated hate even towards my favorite subject, English. *gasp* Want to know why? Too bad, I am going to tell you anyway.

This, my friends, is ratemyprofessor.com. {ever heard of it?} Basically students give honest reviews of their professors at certain colleges to help future students pick their classes. This particular set of reviews is directed towards the professor of English 4462 Gender in Literature. Let me state that a little more clearly. This particular set of reviews is directed towards MY professor of English 4462 Gender in Literature. How lucky am I? {Cue grinded teeth, clenched fists, and screams just waiting to escape}. I swear, this woman is going to be the death of me.

Okay, I will stop the dramatics and give her a little credit. Ever read “The Handmaid’s Tale” by Margaret Atwood? Me either.

That is, until this woman came into my life. Great book, by the way. {See how I strategically took a picture of my face turned slightly to the side? It is to hide the annoying cold sore I can't seem to make disappear. I get cold sores when I am stressed. Yet another reason why I hate school.}

But still. I am having the hardest time getting through this class. Not because of the workload. Really … that I can handle. It’s more of the two and a half hours {IN A ROW} I have to spend with this woman every week.

So basically, this is me begging, pleading for a little advice. Ever had a bad professor? Ever had a bad professor that was ranked the “worst educator” at Idaho State University on ratemyprofessor.com? If so, dish out your advice! How did you get through it? How did you go a whole semester without ripping your hair out?

Thanks for the help {really … my hair thanks you},
♥Kate