"The Lord takes many away even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again." - Prophet Joseph Smith
Today is the scheduled day Maycie was supposed to be born.
In her memory, I decided it was time to recap her birth story.
//
Today is the scheduled day Maycie was supposed to be born.
In her memory, I decided it was time to recap her birth story.
//
On Tuesday, December 11th, I met with my doctor for my weekly appointment. I mentioned I felt decreased movement from little Maycie. I was sent over for a stress test to monitor her heart rate. The test came back "just okay". My doctor decided to see me the following day for an ultrasound and a follow-up stress test. On Wednesday, December 12th, I had a 9:30am ultrasound [I think it was about our 20th ultrasound...we lost count]. By 9:35, my tech made the decision Maycie needed to be delivered that day. Her amniotic fluid was almost nonexistent. My doctor sent me home for one hour to pack a bag and shower and then I needed to go back to the hospital for the stress test before heading to Salt Lake. Maycie's heart rate fluctuated way to much. At one point it went from 70 bpm all the way up to 180 bpm in a matter of seconds. But the little fighter corrected herself as much as she could.
[Last baby bump picture taken right before delivery in the UUMC bathroom]
The drive to SLC was never ending. Jake and I couldn't wait to meet our little girl but we were also very nervous to deliver at 35 weeks [especially because our doctor, Dr. Draper, was at a medical conference in South Africa]. Once we arrived, I was immediately set up on machines to monitor Maycie's heart. At one point, we had about 6 doctors rush into our room and tell us they needed to take me NOW. I had to hurry and sign some consent forms while they started to wheel my bed away. My heart dropped. This was not the way I had imagined meeting my little girl. But Maycie fought once more and was able to correct her heart rate just in time. It was a very scary 60 seconds. The doctors were able to slow down and catch their breath which made the situation a little less scary for Jake and I. We were taken into the delivery room about 20 minutes later. Maycie was born at 7:44pm. She weighted 3 lbs 3 oz and was 16 inches long.
The actual delivery went quite quick. Jake insisted on watching the whole procedure. Makes me queasy just thinking about it. I kept begging him to sit down next to me, which he did. But then I would catch him sneaking back up to watch. Silly boy. There were a few complications with the closure and I had quite the "fun" reactions to the medication [I am sure the nurses got awfully sick of me throwing up on them]. But through it all, I just wanted to meet my little girl.
In the delivery room, there is a small window straight into the NICU at University of Utah. Right when they delivered Maycie, she was transfered through the "window". I didn't get to see her at this point. One of the reasons for this was Maycie's omphalocele ruptured upon delivery. Oringinally, her "O" was surrounded by a membrane that concealed her organs. For whatever reason, the membrane broke and exposed her organs upon delivery. Her "O" became even more life threatening at this point.
Once she was taken through the window, her doctors wrapped her omphalocele the best they could so she could be safely transported to Primary Children's. PCMC actually sent a life flight team over to pick up Maycie. They even gave her a cute little t-shirt showing she had been life flighted, even though they just wheeled her down a small hallway to PCMC. On their way to Primary's, the life flight team stopped in my room so I could meet my little girl. I can't express the feelings I had at that moment. Her abnormalities were very apparent, but she was beautiful. Perfect in every way. This visit with my little girl was extremely short because Maycie needed the medical attention Primary's offered.
Jake followed Maycie to PCMC while I was taken to my room. The next several hours dragged on forever. I wanted to be with my sweet baby girl, but due to my spinal tap [and...you know...being sliced in half], I was told I would have to wait 12 hours before I could make the trip to Primary's.
Around midnight [about 4 hours after delivery] Jake called me and gave me devastating news. The doctors thought there was a very good chance Maycie would not make it through the night. I was heartbroken. I could not believe my little girl might pass away with me only seeing her for 5 minutes. But that night I was extremely blessed with two amazing nurses who "fibbed" on my charts stating I was in better medical condition than I actually was. Due to their kindness, I was able to make it to PCMC around 3:30am to see Maycie. I will never forget their compassion in that situation.
To see Maycie in the NICU with her daddy holding her tiny hand was heartbreaking and breathtaking at exactly the same time. Her tiny body was covered in medical equipment. But her little spirit was so apparent underneath all of the tubes and needles. All I wanted to do was reach out, hold her in my arms, and take all of her pain away.
The next day [or later that day, I guess] I was able to take my parents, my sister Kim, and my brother Alan and his wife into the NICU to meet little Maycie. I kept imagining how their meeting would have been so different if Maycie was healthy. But I will never regret the closeness I felt with my family members as we stood next to Maycie's hospital bed.
Each visit I made to the NICU that day was filled with new information from several doctors who never left Maycie's side. And each time I received even more devastating news. My little girl was sedated, but still felt pain. This fact caused me more pain and hurt than I can even describe.
By the end of that day, it was apparent our little Maycie would not survive her many complications. The several machines attached to her and the many medications given were the only things keeping our little girl here on earth. Because of this, Jake and I had to make the decision to let our little Maycie return to her Heavenly Father. As I look back, I know Jake and I were both being "comforted" at that time. It was the hardest decision we would ever have to make, but we both knew it was the right one.
Jake's parents arrived at the hospital around midnight to meet Maycie Laine before her ventilator was turned off. Once they arrived, Maycie's team of doctors moved her into a private room where we could finally hold our little girl. I cannot begin to describe the feelings I had when our sweet little girl was placed in my arms. I have never felt closer to heaven than I did at that moment.
Jake and his dad were able to give little M a blessing before she passed. It was such an amazing experience and I will forever cherish the feelings I felt as I watched Jake hold his little girl in his arms at that moment.
Being in that room with my little girl while she passed was the most painful and most comforting experience I have ever had. Time passed slowly and quickly at exactly the same time. Little Maycie Laine Schwartz returned to her heavenly home at 6am on 12.14.12 -- about 36 hours after birth.
I am so grateful for every single one of the people who were there that night helping Maycie pass with the least amount of pain possible. I am grateful for each of their sweet comments. I am grateful for the little memorabilia they gifted us with. I am grateful for the professional photographer who captured our first and last moments of holding our little girl [can't wait to see them]. I am just so grateful.
The actual delivery went quite quick. Jake insisted on watching the whole procedure. Makes me queasy just thinking about it. I kept begging him to sit down next to me, which he did. But then I would catch him sneaking back up to watch. Silly boy. There were a few complications with the closure and I had quite the "fun" reactions to the medication [I am sure the nurses got awfully sick of me throwing up on them]. But through it all, I just wanted to meet my little girl.
In the delivery room, there is a small window straight into the NICU at University of Utah. Right when they delivered Maycie, she was transfered through the "window". I didn't get to see her at this point. One of the reasons for this was Maycie's omphalocele ruptured upon delivery. Oringinally, her "O" was surrounded by a membrane that concealed her organs. For whatever reason, the membrane broke and exposed her organs upon delivery. Her "O" became even more life threatening at this point.
Once she was taken through the window, her doctors wrapped her omphalocele the best they could so she could be safely transported to Primary Children's. PCMC actually sent a life flight team over to pick up Maycie. They even gave her a cute little t-shirt showing she had been life flighted, even though they just wheeled her down a small hallway to PCMC. On their way to Primary's, the life flight team stopped in my room so I could meet my little girl. I can't express the feelings I had at that moment. Her abnormalities were very apparent, but she was beautiful. Perfect in every way. This visit with my little girl was extremely short because Maycie needed the medical attention Primary's offered.
[Meeting Maycie during her "life flight". I couldn't move from my spinal tap so Jake had to hold me up.]
Around midnight [about 4 hours after delivery] Jake called me and gave me devastating news. The doctors thought there was a very good chance Maycie would not make it through the night. I was heartbroken. I could not believe my little girl might pass away with me only seeing her for 5 minutes. But that night I was extremely blessed with two amazing nurses who "fibbed" on my charts stating I was in better medical condition than I actually was. Due to their kindness, I was able to make it to PCMC around 3:30am to see Maycie. I will never forget their compassion in that situation.
To see Maycie in the NICU with her daddy holding her tiny hand was heartbreaking and breathtaking at exactly the same time. Her tiny body was covered in medical equipment. But her little spirit was so apparent underneath all of the tubes and needles. All I wanted to do was reach out, hold her in my arms, and take all of her pain away.
The next day [or later that day, I guess] I was able to take my parents, my sister Kim, and my brother Alan and his wife into the NICU to meet little Maycie. I kept imagining how their meeting would have been so different if Maycie was healthy. But I will never regret the closeness I felt with my family members as we stood next to Maycie's hospital bed.
[My daddy wheeling me to see baby Maycie]
Each visit I made to the NICU that day was filled with new information from several doctors who never left Maycie's side. And each time I received even more devastating news. My little girl was sedated, but still felt pain. This fact caused me more pain and hurt than I can even describe.
By the end of that day, it was apparent our little Maycie would not survive her many complications. The several machines attached to her and the many medications given were the only things keeping our little girl here on earth. Because of this, Jake and I had to make the decision to let our little Maycie return to her Heavenly Father. As I look back, I know Jake and I were both being "comforted" at that time. It was the hardest decision we would ever have to make, but we both knew it was the right one.
Jake's parents arrived at the hospital around midnight to meet Maycie Laine before her ventilator was turned off. Once they arrived, Maycie's team of doctors moved her into a private room where we could finally hold our little girl. I cannot begin to describe the feelings I had when our sweet little girl was placed in my arms. I have never felt closer to heaven than I did at that moment.
Jake and his dad were able to give little M a blessing before she passed. It was such an amazing experience and I will forever cherish the feelings I felt as I watched Jake hold his little girl in his arms at that moment.
Being in that room with my little girl while she passed was the most painful and most comforting experience I have ever had. Time passed slowly and quickly at exactly the same time. Little Maycie Laine Schwartz returned to her heavenly home at 6am on 12.14.12 -- about 36 hours after birth.
I am so grateful for every single one of the people who were there that night helping Maycie pass with the least amount of pain possible. I am grateful for each of their sweet comments. I am grateful for the little memorabilia they gifted us with. I am grateful for the professional photographer who captured our first and last moments of holding our little girl [can't wait to see them]. I am just so grateful.
//
Maycie's tiny little body was laid to rest in Malta on 12.21.12, one week after she passed. We held a small graveside funeral surrounded by our closest family members. Maycie's Grandpa Schwartz gave an opening prayer and her Grandpa Branch gave the dedicatory prayer. Her daddy said a few words as well. It was short and perfectly sweet -- just like her life on this earth.
[Maycie Laine's 19 inch casket. So little.]
[Some of Maycie's things the hospital gave us. Her little hand cast is my favorite. And her headband...it fits on my wrist]
//
Thank you all for the love and support you have offered us. I cannot begin to express our gratitude. The outpouring of support we have received - both emotionally and financially - has been overwhelming. Jake and I will forever be grateful for each and every one of you.
6 comments:
Beautiful!! Maycie is so special!
What a special little girl!
Katie- Thanks again for letting me be part of Maycie's short life. She was beautiful and you and Jake handled the situation with such grace. I love you two and admire the both of you. This was so touching to read. A beautiful tribute to a beautiful angel.
My heart aches for your family, but I'm so glad you had this blessing as part of your life. You are two beautiful people. God bless the angel you created.
Katie,
Thank you for sharing these very special and tender moments with us all. You have gone through something I cannot even comprehend. How comforting it is to know the Lord lives and He has gathered your sweet little one into His arms. You and Jake are in my prayers.
I couldn't help but feel your pain throughout this post.Thank you for writing it, because it makes me realize how blessed I am and how strong you are.
Prayers are with you.
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